Clarence Mertz is an ass

Who is Clarence Mertz you ask? Well he is public enemy number 1 to the legions of brat eaters in Wisconsin. You see Mr. Mertz is leading a campaign to end Sheboygan Wisconsin’s annual Brat Eating Contest because as he claims, it is a “disgusting event” and promotes gluttony and over eating. I think eating contests are disgusting too so that is why I avoid them. But avoiding them is not what Mr. Mertz wants. Instead of staying home boring his grandchildren with tales of how it was in the old days like a normal 84 year old, he wants to ensure that nobody else can enjoy the contest either and wants to hold an advisory referendum to see if the public wants it banned. He claims that the vote would be 10:1 in favor of ending the event. Not only is Mr. Mertz a jackass, he is delusional. Here in Wisconsin we are bombarded with complaints about how high our taxes are and how government wastes money on useless things and this old coot wants to spend public dollars to hold a non-binding referendum on whether people should be allowed to stuff their faces with brats every summer. Tell you what Clarence, you can bankroll the referendum, staff the polls with your friends and hold the election at the next Brat days because I am sure Sheboygan has far better things to do with taxpayer dollars than ban a brat eating contest that is held by a private club, the Jaycees. Of course it should be no surprise to anyone that Mr. Mertz is a former attorney. I am so sick of people who think their job is to tell the public what that can and should enjoy. I am sure this grumpy old bastard is the same type of person that tries to get offensive TV shows banned instead of simply turning the channel.

I am thinking that I will get a booth at next years festival and sell t-shirts with his photo with a big “X” through his face. Only the “X” will be made of two bratwurst crossing each other. Lets hope the City does what everyone else does when an old person talks on and on about a bunch of nonsense. Just ignore them.